Some Things Are Only Meant to Happen Once

Follow up to "My Prime Year"

In my last entry, I shared about how 2018 marked a watershed moment in my life, where I found myself at the crossroads and blindly walked down the wrong path. I’ve been slowly finding my way back since. In this article, I shall share about an unexpected discovery that took me way back further to simpler times, and how it made me realise the wrong mindset that I’ve adopted for the past few years.

One of my favourite pastimes was to go on the classifieds – either Mudah, Carousell, Facebook Marketplace, Motor Trader and so on – to look at cars for sale that are either awe-inspiring, pretty mundane or downright ridiculous. From the first time I started doing this until today (as of the writing of this article), I have never been able to afford any of the cars advertised which frustrates me sometimes because there have been genuinely nice cars that I actually like, so the most I could do is share it with my friends just to talk about it.

However, I went on Facebook Marketplace and I recently found an old Mercedes for sale, simply titled “W126 280SE”. For the less-informed, W126 refers to a generation of Mercedes-Benz S-Class luxury cars built from 1979 to 1993, and is still regarded as “the best car ever made” by Mercedes enthusiasts. However, this W126 was different. I saw the plate number and thought to myself: “hang on a minute – that plate number looks familiar.”

I then dug through my picture archives, the plate number does indeed look familiar. Why? Because it actually was my dad’s ex-car. The very car I grew up with.

I sat for a few minutes. Completely speechless. Shocked. I didn’t know what to feel. I felt like I’d found a missing piece of me, but looking at the ruined state of it and considering my total financial instability, I was also devastated. Now, my dad owned two of these W126 models throughout my childhood – the first being a light blue unit, before getting this black one – and another when I was in high school, among many cars he bought and sold during those times.

No…this is just too cruel…I just couldn’t believe it! I never thought I’d see this very car again after over a decade. But I know that chances are that I could never afford it and, by the time I managed to scrape up enough money to even buy it, the car would be gone to an unknown fate. Still, I made the effort to message the seller, out of sheer curiosity, if the car still runs.

Apparently? It still does. The said seller even had wheels to put on the car, if need be, although not the wheels my dad had on it 15 years ago (those wheels, otherwise known as Brabus three-spoke rims, are now worth as much as my entire Proton Wira that I currently drive). Gave him my number, and as of now, he has not contacted me back. I haven’t told him yet, of course, that it was my dad’s ex-car. To any Tom, Dick and Harry reading this, that car is nothing more than a junk by this stage. But to me, that car represented a huge part of me, and it also influenced my taste in cars. I’ve never been a sports or exotic car enthusiast, but these old Benzes? They do have a special place in my heart, so much so that I can tell an old Benz is coming just by hearing it.

It is about this time that I shall bring up a mentality problem that I am now coming to realise. For the past three to four years, everything I’ve been doing – especially after I finished diploma in 2020 – have been motivated by my desire to regain my past life. It is safe to say that I hold on to my past glory a little too much, with having the desire to get this old Benz back being an example of me clinging on to my past. However, my lack of financial stability serves as a reminder that it’s best to let it go. I’ve already enjoyed riding that car throughout my childhood, and while it would be nice to be able to revisit it someday, I shall also come to terms that sometimes, things that have happened once will never happen again. I guess if I may never get my hands on this old Benz, I shall look for a different car which I have never owned when I actually have the means to do so one day.

Sure, I do get sad thinking about it. But then, my mom told me something that reminds me of the saying that goes, don’t be sad that it’s over, but be happy that it happened. I’m still lost in life, but I’m taking it easy to find my way in this very confusing journey. Dwelling upon the past is surely nice, but there’s only one way in life, and that way is forward.

 

Written by,

Luqman Hakim

StudentInk Writer